Mentoring matters - and is important and rewarding - to both the person being mentoring and the person doing the mentoring.  It’s not something that can really be successfully institutionalized in any company, but when it happens “for real”, it’s a crucial and life-changing experience for both people.  And we all ought to look for ways to nurture the environment and circumstances which actually DO make it happen spontaneously.   

Last week I had cocktails with a woman with whom I suppose I have a kinda mentoring relationship.  She works for a different firm than me - a larger, perhaps objectively, more prestigious firm than my current firm - but I feel lots of pride and satisfaction that I helped her get the interview with that firm.  I know she had to “win” the interview and that her standing and success at that firm now are all hers, but it makes me feel good that she has done so well and that I can still give her useful advice about how to maximize her success.

My Mentors.  In about a year and a month, I will turn the big 5-0.  So I suppose it makes sense that I’ve been in a “taking stock” mood lately and thinking, among other topics, about the whole mentoring thing.  As I talk with other lawyers, both contemporaries and younger attorneys, I’ve begun to realize EXACTLY how fortunate I’ve been in my career when it comes to having always had people along the way who were both willing and able to show me how to become the “right” sort of lawyer.

As I’ve moved along in my own career, I’ve become especially appreciative of the “non-billable” intangible aspects of being that certain kind of lawyer which today I am truly proud of being every day.  These exceptional individuals taught me every day in both their word and deed what I really wanted to be, and should be, when I finally became a “grown-up” lawyer.

And it’s so many years later that some of these mentors in my professional life perhaps do not, and may not ever, know or really understand how important they have been in how I approach and do so many things today.  Perhaps just importantly, I doubt that either of us realized how significant they would later be in making sure my “mentee(s)” will grow into the sort of ethical, intelligent, pragmatic lawyer we all want to see.

I still remember the lawyer (then a fairly experienced associate on the brink of becoming a partner) who came by my office my very first week as an employed attorney.  He explained the “nuts and bolts” of recording time (the thing that will always MOST matter to any lawyer in private practice), as well as many other practical aspects of being a lawyer they just don’t teach you in law school. 

It was a small, perhaps even selfish, act since he was going to be the one billing much of my time (or at least the one reviewing bills which included time I spent working on matters).  Yet it opened the door for a personal - yet professional - relationship between us which made it O.K. for me to ask the “stupid” questions about how to do things that young lawyers really DO need to know answers to.  It also helped me connect more to the firm because he was also the person I could go to when something about the “goings on” at the firm puzzled or concerned me.

Then there was the other relatively experienced partner who taught me much of what I know today about the substantive aspects of my practice area.  But what he really did - which I might not have gotten from anyone else - was teach me about “being” a “worthwhile”  lawyer.  Sure he taught me about being an ethical attorney, both generally as a concept and more specifically as issues arose in our day-to-day practice.  However, as crucially important as that was and is, what has and will continue to resonate with me is how he helped me understand about what it really takes to be an effective lawyer and what I should strive to be.

And later, there were the name partners in a much smaller firm with whom I spent a decade of my life.  One was sorta like my “big brother” who both challenged me and insisted that I continue to mature as a lawyer.  The other one “got” who I was and what I needed to do to become the best lawyer I could ever be.  In different ways, both of these individuals - as well as my previous mentors - helped me understand my potential and path to becoming a better attorney (and person).

My Mentees.  Back to my mentee.  I became involved with her when, as a first year law student (for whom law jobs are sometime tough to get), she was sufficently  persistent (without being annoying or unreasonable) that I finally gave her a job as a law clerk; she was FANTISTIC!!  When we got together last week (almost four years after we met one another), she told me that she is getting married - and I am thrilled for her.  We spent most of our time together talking about her - and her upcoming nuptials, career path, and current situation.  And while I have to admit, I often spend as much time talking as listening, it felt VERY O.K. to hear all about her this time and where’s she at and what she wants to do, personally and professionally.

There is also another  attorney I know who is a little further along the prescribed career for sucessful lawyers.  She’s just made a change in moving to a new law firm.  Since I’ve actually done this a couple of times, I could give her useful information based on my experiences.  Being able to help her make this transition in the most sucessful way possible mattered to me and made me feel good about myself and what I stand for as an attorney.            

The Fruits of Mentoring. Today, it doesn’t really even enter into my mind NOT to try to help younger folks.  It’s the way I was “brought up” as a lawyer and I can’t even imagine behaving any other way.  My point in sharing this is that it REALLY does matter what you or I do (or, tragically, fail to do) with the younger and/or less experienced folks in our organization (whether it’s a law firm or some other sort of business) - AND that it might be a LOT of years before you ever find out (if you ever do) - how much it matters.  Really matters to that person and to the individuals that person later interacts with…. and the individuals they later interact with…. and, well you get the picture….

Click here and here for some other “testimonials” about the power and importance of mentoring.  I’d link to more, but my Google search turned up disappointing results - search for “billable hour” and you’ll get lots of hits; search for “mentoring” or some variation thereof and there’s just not that much out there.  I’d like to think that’s because of how deeply personal and meaningful these relationships are and that we don’t quite know how to talk about them.  Or maybe it’s because if you’ve been lucky enough to have this valuable experience, you tend to take it for granted and think it’s a normal part of everyone’s career path; and if you haven’t been so fortunate, you’re not really certain what the “big deal” about this is anyway.  So, anyone, other stories???   

Many companies try to “assign” mentors to new hires.  I know they mean well, but I honestly don’t believe that these sort of relationships can happen this way.  Nor can you just go up to someone and say, hey, would you be my mentor or, on the other side of the relationship, can you force yourself on a younger colleague as “the” person who can show him or her the way.  Mentors are just drawn to one another and do the “choosing”, if you can call it that, themselves - mostly without really being aware it’s happening.

The most we can do is create an environment which facilitates and is conducive to making these relationships happen.  It needs to be a fundamental part of a company’s culture that never occurs to anyone to question.  A few years ago it was popular to say that “it takes a village to raise a child” - well, it also takes a village to bring  a lawyer, accountant, banker, or business person to maturity.     

In today’s bustling world of commerce in which everything seems to go faster and faster and profit margins sometimes seem to be getting smaller and smaller, it might be easy to overlook this aspect of professional business life. However, if we want a better world or a better profession, it really is up to us experienced types not to let that happen. 

To me, it’s not that different from growing up as a human.  There really are just some things which parents (or law partners or senior executive members of a company or organization) do need to instill in their offspring (or proteges).  I am willing to take on that responsibilty.  How ’bout YOU????